30 Days of Recovery

To my past self,
If someone had told me a year ago that I would now be at my third treatment center, I would have told them to get lost. If someone had told me that I would be sober, I would have laughed at them. There’s so many things I wish I would have known a year ago.
First, “I can stop whenever I want”, is the dumbest, biggest lie one can ever tell themselves. Because you can stop whenever you want….. Until you can’t. I wish I knew that recovery is a LONG journey, and once you stop using, your life does not automatically become whole again. I wish I had thought about potential consequences, not only myself, but my friends, family, education, future, etc. I wish I knew it was okay to ask for help. But, most of all, I wish I knew that I was loved, supported, and cared for, that my struggles are mine, but they don’t define me, and that I don’t need drugs or alcohol to feel happy and loved. Recovery is long and hard, and painful, and tiring, but hands down, totally and completely worth it.
-Kira L.