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Phase 5: Introduction to Interdependence

When a family becomes Interdependent they value growth, accountability, independence and responsibility. Individual members are driven by an internal locus of control and feel a sense of self-confidence and worth. The family understands that it is healthy to provide and receive appropriate levels of guidance, support and structure. Family members are resilient to stress, remain flexible, and are intentional in their relationships. A state of Interdependence allows the family to continue the process of healing and growth in their future together.

STUDENT ASSIGNMENTS
1.  Complete a personal “me” bead. (5.1)
2. Complete your “Legacy of a Value” project, and present it in a Values Ceremony. (5.2)
3. Demonstrate leadership and that you are living true to your values, while supporting the values of family members and the community. Discuss these concepts with your Values Coach and Family, including ways you are doing this.
4. Exhibit personal responsibility for participation in all aspects of your program, without prompting from staff.
5. Honor your parents in an emotionally significant way.
6. With the your family, nurses, and psychologist, develop a medication plan for when you are home. Begin implementing the plan.
7. Demonstrate through peer feedback that the majority of your peers are in favor of you moving to the next phase.
8. Write a “Letter of Hope” to a future New Haven Student.
9. Plan a “community bonding” activity.
10. Plan and execute a service project.
11. Complete School Requirements.
12. Create your Values Bracelet with your Values Coach.

PARENT ASSIGNMENTS
13. Honor your daughter in an emotionally significant way.
14. Discuss with your Therapist the concept of your home being a “haven” for your daughter.
15. Write a “letter of hope” to a new family.
16. Establish two Alumni sponsors.
17. Parents take primary responsibility for discussion of and implementation of transition plans.  Including making arrangements for therapy (either a NH therapist, or an outpatient).
18. Discuss aftercare statistics with your Therapist.

FAMILY ASSIGNMENTS
19. As a family create a “Personalized Family Bead”.
20. Demonstrate that negotiation has become a regular and natural way of resolving conflicts.
21. All family members are remaining open and honest with their thoughts and feelings.
22. Family members can move past power struggles on their own.
23. Everyone is respectful of one another and emotional safety is apparent.
24.  In family therapy, review the Teenager/Parent Decision worksheet.

TRANSITION ASSIGNMENTS
25. With the help of the Rec Therapist and your Values Coach, determine appropriate leisure/community activities to be involved in when you leave New Haven.  Set up at least one activity you can start participating in as soon as you leave New Haven.
26. Find a service organization to be a part of. Join, and have an experience with them.  Report on the experience at New Haven.
27. During an extended home pass (at least 10 days) complete the following:

  • Implement 40hrs schedule.
  • Have family dinners.
  • Enjoy a fun family activity.
  • Meet with your home therapist.
  • Maintain a C average in all school assignments.

28. As a family complete the Transition Family Contract.
29. As a family finalize your Transition and Home Works© options.
30. Student will ask the Home Haven Coordinator for a Transition Portfolio, and then assemble it.
31. Student explores how she handles loneliness, listing the ways she has responded to it in the past and healthy alternatives. Discuss with your Values Coach.
32. Student explores peer relationships, support system, and sexual boundaries.
33. Parents and Student will each participate in two of either a transition activity/group or an alumni phone call.

5.1 | Personal “Me” Bead

Your task is to create a personalized “Me” bead. To do this, you need to come up with 8 different possible activities that will help you work on your goals in treatment. Please feel free to be creative and to think outside the box. Be aware though that there are limits regarding time and money so make sure to come up with ideas that you will be able to do. We want you to actually be able to complete the bead that you create!

When all 8 of these activities are created, share the bead with your therapist and values coach to get it approved. Once it is approved you can begin completing each activity. After all 8 of the activities are completed, plan a pass with your values coach so that you can purchase a specific bead that symbolizes your work and celebrates you accomplishing this assignment. Have fun!!!

5.2 | Legacy of a Value

During your time here at New Haven, you have spent a lot of time figuring out what your personal values are, what they mean to you, and how you are going to live your life according to them. As your departure from New Haven nears, we would like you to do an original presentation on the one value that is most important to you. This presentation is your opportunity to use your creativity and leave your legacy with the community through your value.

Below are the guidelines we would like you to follow as you prepare for and present your “legacy of a value.” Use your Values Coach as a resource if you need help.

  • You will do this presentation at a Values Ceremony
  • The presentation should last no longer than ten or fifteen minutes - it can be shorter
  • You must include the community in some way
  • One aspect of your presentation should be a tangible representation of your value

We look forward to your personal legacy of your value – we know you will do a great job sharing this representation of yourself and your progress with the community.

5.3 | Peer Feedback

When a family becomes Interdependent they value growth, accountability, independence and responsibility. Individual members are driven by an internal locus of control and feel a sense of self-confidence and worth. The family understands that it is healthy to provide and receive appropriate levels of guidance, support and structure. Family members are resilient to stress, remain flexible, and are intentional in their relationships. A state of Interdependence allows the family to continue the process of healing and growth in their future together.

On Interdependence Phase the student consistently shows:

  • consistently shows she can follow the rules without complaint and without staff direction
  • consistently shows she can do chores well & without complaint
  • consistently shows she can be open in therapy
  • consistently shows she can participate & learn in school & group
  • consistently shows she can take responsibility for her treatment issues by going to uncomfortable places in therapy
  • consistently shows she understands her core issues
  • consistently shows she can correct inappropriate behavior
  • consistently shows she can be honest with staff and peers
  • consistently shows she can make good choices
  • consistently shows she can give feedback respectfully and accept it non-defensively with all people including her family
  • consistently shows she can make choices that match her values
  • consistently shows positive leadership in the community
  • consistently shows internal motivation
  • consistently shows she can ask for support as well as give it when needed

5.4 | Student “Letter of Hope” Assignment

Congratulations on transitioning from New Haven!!! Did you ever think it would happen? I know, crazy right? What a journey it has been…..

As one of your last assignments before you leave us, we want you to write a “Letter of Hope” to an incoming student. In this letter, we want you
to briefly tell your story with the focus being on how far you have come rather than focusing too much on the mistakes in your past. Share your
thoughts about the New Haven process and offer advice and encouragement to the incoming student. You too were new once and you know how it feels.
Think back to your first day…what do you wish you had known at that time? Is there anything you would have liked someone to say to you (besides
that you are going home…)?

The personal experience, wisdom, and encouragement that you can offer an incoming student are priceless. Please do not share your last name or any other confidential information though. We want to respect your privacy. If you do not want us sharing your letter with others, please let your therapist know. But even if you don’t want your letter shared, we want you to write it anyway so that it can serve as a reminder to you of your journey and can be an emotional boost should you need it down the road.

5.5 | Service

There are so many service opportunities out there to be a part of! For your assignment of doing service, you can choose an activity/project that involves the entire community, the entire campus, or just you and your family or your values coach.

  • First, think about something that would be meaningful to you and the type of population that you would like to serve. (i.e. animals, children, the elderly, the community in general, etc)
  • Next, think about who you want to involve.  Then think about the feasibility of getting it done.  What are the supplies that you will need, what is the time that is needed, what about transportation?
  • Lastly, talk to your Recreation Therapist to coordinate and together plan the place, date, and time that your service activity will take place.

There are many resources to look online to get ideas:

  • https://www.unitedwayuc.org/volunteer/volunteer-opportunities- lists
  • kotm.org (Kids on the move)
  • heritage.utah.gov/userveutah‎
  • http://www.volunteermatch.org/search/index.jsp?r=msa&l=84664
  • http://intermountainhealthcare.org/communitysupport/volunteering/pages/home.aspx
  • heritage.utah.gov
  • www.habitatsaltlake.com
  • www.volunteer.slco.org/‎
  • volunteer.truist.com/utah/volunteer/‎
  • www.voaut.org

5.6 | Parents’ “Letter of Hope” Assignment

Congratulations on all of the hard work you have done throughout your journey at New Haven! I imagine it has been quite a wild ride. At this
point, you are likely working on your family’s transition plan and preparing for life after New Haven. As you are working to create these next steps for
your family, we invite you to take some time to reflect back on the process (and the struggle) that has brought you to this point. Your family’s story is
unique, courageous, and deserves to be celebrated. As your journey at New Haven is coming to an end, another family’s journey is just beginning. This
new family is just now facing the challenge of putting trust in the process and having faith in treatment team. As you know from experience, this takes immense courage.

As one of your final assignments before transition, we would like you to write a “Letter of Hope” to these incoming parents. This letter is intended to be an opportunity for you to share your experience at New Haven and to help to create a vision for other families who are likely feeling hopeless and terrified at this time. Please do not use any last names or other identifying information that may compromise your confidentiality. If you do not feel comfortable sharing your story, just let your therapist know and we will not give your letter to others. However, even if you don’t want your letter shared, we still ask that you write it as a tribute to your journey and as a
future resource should you need a boost down the road.

5.7 | Personalized Family Bead

How to create a personalized family bead:

With your family, come up with 8 different possible activities that represent goals your family is working on. Feel free to get creative. When all 8 of these activities are created, share the bead with your therapist in family therapy and then begin working on each activity. When you have completed all 8 of the activities go to the store as a family or look online to purchase a specific bead that symbolizes your family and represents your having finished your family bead.

Here are some activity examples that previous families have come up with:

  • Each family member takes time to learn about something that is important to each of the other family members. This shows love for and interest in each other. For example, if dad likes history and daughter likes skating, dad can spend time learning something about skating and daughter can spend time learning about history
  • Each member of the family makes a puppet to represent him or her self. As a family, create a story that plays out various family patterns.
  • Make a list of 15 things that your family can do for family recreation nights when the student is back at home.
  • Write 2 significant family goals to be completed one year from today.
  • Write letters to each other to be opened 2 years from today.
  • In a family session, have each member take on the “role” of another family member. Ex. mother be daughter, son be dad, dad be mom, daughter be son, etc.
  • Create a piece of artwork that represents each family member’s core meanings. Display it somewhere in your home.
  • Go to Color Me Mine as a family. Each person paint a plate and mug that will come together to create a family “set” of dishes. Each individual and unique but come together to make a set.
  • Complete an Equine therapy session together.
  • Have your family put on a little play or musical presentation in front of all the families at family weekend.
  • Complete 3 family service projects….1 per month for the next 3 months.
  • Create an art piece that symbolizes each family member’s love language. Display it in your home.

5.8 | Family Decision-Making Relapse Prevention Plan

Download the following form and complete it as honestly as you can. Do not answer in the way you feel other individuals in your family would like you to answer.

5.9 | Family Transition Contract

Download the following contract and complete it fully. 

Family Phase Application

Instructions: In order to apply for your next phase, each family member, values coach, and therapist(s) must complete their part.  Once each section is complete, the form can be turned in with the student’s values binder.

Download the following document to complete the family phase application.

Table Of Contents

INTRO SECTION

Introduction

  1. Values Program
  2. Values Program Description

Phase 1

Phase 1: Expectation

  1. Introduction to Expectation
    1. Testing Requirements
    2. Values Binder Test
    3. Safety Contract

PHASE 2

Phase 2: Exploration

  1. Introduction to Exploration
    1. Love
    2. Value Definitions
    3. Personal Values List and Definitions
    4. Peer Feedback
    5. Autobiography
    6. Emotional Safety
    7. Emotional Safety Rating Scale
    8. Parent Autobiography
    9. Ego Defense Mechanisms
    10. Family Values List & Definitions
    11. Family Strengths List & Definitions
    12. Love Currency: Learning How to Exchange Love
  2. Family Phase Application
  3. Working With New Haven Horses: Guidlines Contract

PHASE 3

Phase 3: Insight

  1. Introduction to Insight
    1. Peer Feedback
    2. Three Levels of Communication
    3. Core Issue/Core Meaning Worksheet
    4. Negotiation
    5. Family Community Meeting
    6. Family Rules
  2. Family Phase Application

PHASE 4

Phase 4: Integrity

  1. Introduction to Integrity
    1. Choices & Accountability
    2. Peer Feedback
    3. Personal Values List & Definitions
    4. Values - Rules - Consequences
    5. Relapse Prevention Plan
  2. Family Phase Application

PHASE 5

Phase 5: Interdependence

  1. Introduction to Interdependence
    1. Personal “Me” Bead
    2. Legacy of a Value
    3. Peer Feedback
    4. Student “Letter of Hope” Assignment
    5. Service
    6. Parents’ “Letter of Hope” Assignment
    7. Personalized Family Bead
    8. Family Decision-Making Relapse Prevention Plan
    9. Family Transition Contract
  2. Family Phase Application

PHASE 6

Phase 6: Transition

  1. Introduction to Transition

SECTION 7

Section 7: School

  1. Education Phase Requirements

SECTION 8

Section 8: Quotes

  1. Expectation
  2. Exploration
  3. Insight
  4. Integrity
  5. Interdependence