Becky gets home from an awful day at school. She hates everything about her day. Her teachers are hard and give her tons of homework. She feels left out and has very few friends. She wants to get attention from boys, but doesn\u2019t like her body and is convinced that nobody else does either. When she arrives home, her mother instantly starts nagging her about prepping for her SAT\u2019s. Basically, life sucks.<\/p>\n
Becky goes online to flash chat. She meets Joe\u2026<\/p>\n
B – OMG, school totally sucked. Sometimes I hate my life.<\/p>\n
J \u2013 I know what you mean. If you were here, I\u2019d give you a hug.<\/p>\n
B \u2013 Aaaah, you are so sweet. Thx. That would be so great.<\/p>\n
J \u2013 Hey, it\u2019s what I\u2019m here for. Hugs, foot rubs, whatever you need babe.<\/p>\n
Becky feels validated for the first time all day, perhaps for the first time in days, weeks or even longer. Joe is \u201cso sweet\u201d and she can tell he\u2019s just such a nice guy. Their conversation continues\u2026<\/p>\n
B \u2013 You would really rub my feet? Eeew\u2026<\/p>\n
J \u2013 Of course, I would. Then I would kiss you and tell you how beautiful you are.<\/p>\n
B – **Blushing**<\/p>\n
J \u2013 Seriously, I think you\u2019re so hot<\/p>\n
B \u2013 Thanks, I think you\u2019re hot too.<\/p>\n
J \u2013 Do you know what I\u2019d do if you were here now?<\/p>\n
B \u2013 Ummm\u2026 What?<\/p>\n
In a matter of moments, Becky is sucked in and the sexting begins. The situation seems so safe. Becky doesn\u2019t know Joe, has no idea who he is, where he is, and wouldn\u2019t recognize him if she walked by him on the street. She tells him things she would never say to someone she actually knew. She loves the thrill of the attention he is giving her. He says things that make her a bit uncomfortable, but it\u2019s such a rush. She is doing this from the safety of her bedroom\/classroom\/living room. What could possibly happen? How could this possibly hurt anything? For the first time in a long time, Becky is no longer alone. She quickly discovers a whole network of friends who are always there for her and they are merely a text away.<\/p>\n
For Becky and the hundreds of thousands of teens who struggle<\/a> with insecurity or low self-esteem, sexting has become the escape and release from feeling like they don\u2019t belong. Combine this with a lack of impulse control, thirst for adrenaline and risk-taking and you have the perfect storm. Often things start out innocently enough. However, the need for an emotional connection, albeit artificial, and the rush of excitement cause most teens to bypass any alarm bells ringing in their head when they first encounter sexting. They get sucked into a world they may initially be uncomfortable with, but the rush of emotion and excitement is so overwhelming and powerful that they surge ahead with a false sense of safety.<\/p>\n Before too long, the awkward, shy, insecure, lonely, self-conscious teen feels loved, desired, pursued, and needed. They feel important and powerful. They love the intensity and attention they are getting through sexting. All the while still feeling as though they are \u201cdoing nothing wrong.\u201d They create excuses such as \u201cI\u2019m still a virgin,\u201d or \u201cIt\u2019s not like I\u2019m sleeping around,\u201d or \u201cIt\u2019s fun and safe.\u201d They refuse to believe that their sexting is a problem.<\/p>\n \u201cIt got to the point where it was all I could think about.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI started to think those people really cared about me. I honestly thought they loved me.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI used to put my phone in a Ziploc bag so I could still text while I was in the shower.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI didn\u2019t care about any of my real friends anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMy parents were always mad about how much I was texting or that I was always in my room, but I didn\u2019t care.\u201d<\/p>\n These are just some of the comments made by teens at New Haven working to overcome their sexting addiction. Once the stimulus has been removed and they are able to see beyond the thrill\/adrenaline and false sense of importance, they quickly feel embarrassment and shame. They all admit that there was a little voice telling them that it wasn\u2019t okay while it happened; but that they also believed they were doing nothing wrong. They had no idea how addictive it would become.<\/p>\n Most parents are unaware of how quickly and easily teens can get sucked into sexting. Providing Internet access without proper structure, supervision, and accountability is like giving a 5-year-old $100 and sending them into a candy store. Then later, we get angry with the 5-year-old when they are sick and throwing up. We blame them, remind them they know it will make them sick, and then give them the same amount of money the next day. Teens do not yet have the emotional maturity<\/a>, impulse control, and strength of character needed to manage this sort of temptation on their own. It is our job as parents and professionals to help guide them and teach them through this process.<\/p>\n To find out more how New Haven helps young women overcome sexting addictions, please call us at 888-317-3958.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Real Struggles<\/strong><\/h2>\n
How to Help<\/strong><\/h2>\n